Self-help Books I Wouldn’t Wish on my Worst Enemies

March 5th, 2010

A self-help or personal development book should be as advertised: a way to actually help yourself or develop in some area.

But some books present ideas that can actually cause you to regress instead of progress.  Or they are so insulting to one’s intelligence that they take you for a fool.  In one post, I tried to show how you can know that a self-help book is BS.  If you don’t see a book listed here, I advise you to go to that post and see if the book you are reading fits the description.

I can’t possibly read all the bad books out there, but here is my list of those books you’re better off not reading.

I’ll update this page regularly as I come into contact with the worst of the worst.  I recommend you subscribe to my feed or get updates by e-mail (located on the sidebar) to stay up to date.

The Secret

This one is tops.  The Secret is the WORST THING to ever happen to personal development.  The fact that this book is so popular is really no surprise to me.  Everyone wants to believe that there’s some magic pill that’ll absolve them of all responsibility to take action and bring them happiness.  And The Secret delivers. It delivers a bunch of crap.  That whole Law of Attraction stuff is largely BS.  But The Secret takes it further than ever.  But let’s say I actually believe that the Secret is true.  That means:

The Secret on Health: It’s not germs that kill you; it’s your negative thoughts.

The Secret on Wealth: You’re poor; because you’re too negative.

The Secret on happiness: Your negative thoughts are to blame for your unhappiness.

So, a kid born in Darfur is wrecked by disease, starvation, and brutality because of his negative thoughts?  According to The Secret—YES.

What kind of “guiding principle” is that?

Some people tell me I don’t “get” The Secret.  Or they say I don’t know the “true” Secret (of course, they’ll let me in on that true secret for a large sum).

Look: I watched the video and I’m just taking what they say at face value.  The Secret is the  logical conclusion of New Thought teachings which form the basis of a lot of self-help.  It completely empowers the individual with having control over the universe.  Heck, you’re thoughts can make things come true, right?  Sorry!  Lots of things are just out of your control.  That’s life.  Deal with it.  It doesn’t sound as “positive” as The Secret, but life isn’t always positive.  And to blame the bad things that happen to you on “negative thoughts” is reprehensible.

The fact that people think this is guiding philosophy astounds me.  One thing that really gets me is how “materialistic’ The Secret is.  As I the universe really cares about how much money you have…the oceans will be gone in about 1 billion years and the sun’s going to expand in 5 billion years and leave this little planet lifeless…I’d say your dream car is pretty very low on the universe’s list of things to cares about.

At some point, I will do a long review of The Secret to let you know what I really think of it.

Awaken the Giant Within by Anthony Robbins

I’ve now had the displeasure of reading one book by Tony Robbins.  I love advertisements.  I just don’t like advertisements disguised as personal development.  This book was 512 pages of mostly fluff.

See my full review to see what I really think of this book.

Who Moved my Cheese?

This has to be one of the dumbest books I’ve ever read.  I have no problem with parables.  I have no problem with a short book.  What I do have a problem is reading an entire book that basically says “embrace change.” See my full review here to see what I really think of Who Moved my Cheese?”.

Anything written by Dr. Phil

Dr. Phil?  I think he’s the worst of the “it’s all your own fault” gurus.  His “straight talk” is nothing but a way of giving simplistic answers to complex problems and then blaming people because they just can’t figure it out.  And when they don’t just “get it”, Dr, Phil is there to tell them how dumb they are and accuse them of not taking responsibility.

People love simple answers and I’m sure Dr. Phil was a refreshing change of pace from the “secrety” stuff out there (yes, Secret fans, that so-called secret’s been around awhile now with guys teaching it for years).  But all Dr. Phil offers is a way for you to beat yourself up over everything.

But there is one story I heard about Dr. Phil that I did like.

You see, when Oprah was sued by the cattle ranchers over her beef comments, she hired Dr. Phil to help her understand the jury.  That’s what Dr. Phil did.  He was a jury consultant—not a therapist (makes sense now, doesn’t it?).

Anyway, he goes to Oprah’s office and her secretary tells him Oprah’s too busy and he’ll have to wait.  In response, Dr. Phil gets up and is about to leave.  The secretary tells him to wait.  He says he won’t wait because ,”it ain’t my ass being sued.”

Oprah let him in right away.

Hell ya, Dr, Phil!  That’s a lesson we all need in self-value, even if I don’t value Dr. Phil as much as he values himself.

However, hs books are still terrible.

And speaking of Oprah…

Any self-help book recommended by Orpah

Let’s get this straight: Oprah LOVED The secret.  She raved on and on about it.  To her credit though, she did backtrack a bit when someone ACTUALLY followed The Secret and refused chemotherapy for her cancer and decided to use The Secret instead.

So, to recap:

1. Oprah she recommends a book that’s full of crap.

2. a person follows the advice in said crap book

3. Oprah gets freaked out because the advice is kooky.

4. Oprah still loves The Secret but thinks seeing a doctor is a good idea.

Did she even read The Secret?  Or watch the infomercial–I mean movie? How can you trust anything she says?

You’d think that after the whole James Fey thing that she’d have no credibility whatsoever!

For years, she’s had some real wackadoos on her show and no one ever seemed to question it. The fact that she lets so some of those alternative health people on her show should cause alarm (see Jenny “my son may not have autism after all even though I blamed the MMR vaccine for his maybe-not autism” McCarthy).

Newsweek finally had the guts to call her on it last year.  But why did it take 20 years or so for them to do it?

THE END SO FAR

Think I’m wrong?  You love Dr. Phil?  Are you Dr. Phil? Let me know.  Or if you have a book that you think belongs on this list, I’ll try to have a look at it and review it myself.

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  • Interesting perspective, you made a few good points, but I have to ask... Have you ever read an entire Dr Phil book?

    I do get something out of his advice (I did discover him through Oprah... I can feel your disappointment through cyberspace as you read this) once you get past all the pompous bravado there is something good in there.

    Yes, Dr Phil does encourage us to take responsibility for our lives. I don’t think he shames people into it, I feel as though he reminds people, that they are the captain of their own ship, he reminds them that instead of just being unhappy with their own circumstances that they can do something about it.

    I don’t always agree with his tactics and have winced from time to time, but I do believe that other people do sometimes need to be shocked into taking action.

    I am quoting from the jacket of the Dr Phil book Love Smart (yes I own a copy), “Dr. Phil tells people who are dissatisfied with their love lives to stop making excuses and start taking action. You deserve a committed relationship, and it is within your control to have the one you want”.

    How many times have you heard, there are no good men left, I’m just meant to be single etc etc these ARE really just excuses, people get stuck... we all do, myself included. Sometimes instead of trying to do something in an attempt to make an improvement, we try to justify where we are - instead of accepting where we are in that moment, and figuring out how to get where we want to be.

    He’s not really about blaming, he’s more about taking action, his books give people something tangible, a plan of action and helps them to figure out why they are where they are, and how to get where they want to be, “you need to determine what you want in a partner, plot your course, and get out there and create velocity in your pursuit of a loving relationship” (also from the back of the book).

    His books are filled with quizzes, questions to ask your self and step by step instructions.
    I believe anything that can help people make a positive tangible change in their life is a good thing, something that goes beyond sending good vibes into the universe, something that is about action, telling people; understand why you are unhappy, understand how to want to change it, here’s how you can get there, now get off your butt and take the first step.

    I personally have been helped by Dr. Phil and his book Love Smart. I've written a post about it here:
    http://confessionsofalovingwife.com/2010/01/my-...

    Wow, I never intended to write an essay about Dr. Phil’s good points. ;) I am going to put an end to this comment before it gets any longer, however I just wanted you and your readers to understand that beyond the audacity of his self righteousness there is indeed some good in his tactics.
  • carlon
    Shannon,

    Nice comment...who knew I had Dr. Phil fans reading this blog! The truth is I have read a Dr. Phil book. I read Self Matters. I didn't review it for this blog because I read it a long time ago before I started this blog and if I reviewed it now, I'd need to look at it again to make sure my review was fair. That book resides in another hemisphere at the moment, so....

    Here's what I remember about the book and why I didn't like it:

    1. He did provide quizes (you mention that in your comment) but he didn't provide a key on scoring the quizzes, which means the quizzes were useless.

    2. He talked about himself too much.

    3. His tone was condescending.

    4. He 'spooked' in this book. In other words, it's a lot of fluff. He says in hundreds of pages what could have been said in about 2 sentences.

    5. He tells you WHAT to do and not HOW to do it.

    And #5 is the reason I didn't like Dr. Phil's book. Maybe his other books are better, and I'd be happy to review one if Dr. Phil sends me one. The Dr. Phil type gurus are great at telling you to take action and take responsibility. Heck, I can tell you to take action. Anyone can tell you to do that. But 'taking action' is not a message. His book was full of calls to action, but was never very clear on what I should be doing. Telling me to take action is not enough.

    The truth is I tend to favor the Dr. Phil types more than the 'get your vibes in alignment' types. But just because I like a person's general message (take responsibility for your life and don't make excuses) doesn't mean I agree with everything he says. And I expect a lot more from the Dr. Phils of this world. If you're going to berate people for not doing something and then are vague about what they should be doing, you will not get a recommendation from me.

    I'm glad you commented. I might have to use your comment and my response when I update this list the next time.

    PS. I read your dating story post. Very nice.
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