“Sweat Lodge” Guru Asks the Universe to Set Him Free

February 5th, 2010

In a stunning turn of events, self-help guru James Arthur Ray has fired the legal team that’s aiding him in his manslaughter arrest.  His legal team had been fighting hard for Ray in an attempt to get him released on bail.  But they were told this morning that “their services are no longer required.”

Ray, one of the teachers featured in the best-selling movie “The Secret”, says he will simply ask the universe to let him out of jail.

“I have asked. And now I don’t feel like I’m in jail.  I really believe that I am already out of jail. The only thing that’s bothering me about my not being in jail right now is that the jail food –that is not jail food because I’m not really in jail–is too salty.”

The final step, Ray says, is that the universe will let him out of jail.

This new legal approach is causing a bit of a rift in the Secreter community.

Ray’s fans completely support his new approach.

“He’s got this whole secret thing down, man. I wouldn’t be surprised if the universe gives him wings so he can just fly out of jail.” says one fan of Ray who asked that we not use his name.

But some other Secreters disagree.

“What I don’t get is why he just didn’t ask the universe to bring those people back to life?  It would have saved him a whole lot of trouble,” says Life Awareness Coach Sham Shamenberger.

Currently, Ray is said to be having trouble making the 5 million in bail.

Asked about the bail, Ray says, “The bail will manifest itself.  I’m not worried.”

Posted in Humor/Satire
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  • Carlon

    Thanks for the comment. Glad you liked it.

  • http://www.theawfulflaw.com/ Britt

    Funny take! Am lovin it.

  • carlon

    Thanks for the comment. Glad you liked it.

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  • LeeKuan

    In forum after forum I encounter the ignorant who blindly claim that James Arthur Ray is a charlatan, fraud, scam artist. Well, I feel it is time for you supposed “experts” to put this matter to rest. I feel it’s time for YOU to review Mr Ray’s DVD Harmonic Wealth and establish, once and for all, that James Arthur Ray is indeed a charlatan scam artist. It should be no problem for you ‘wise guys’ to make it clear point by point just how Mr Ray is a charlatan fraud. It should be no problem for you to do this at all, right? You are the experts, right? You can clearly see the truth the ignorant can’t, right? You are among the Super Wise Superheros of the ignorant. So, let’s all see your evaluation point by point. I’m on the edge of my seat!

    1

    2

    3

    4

    5

    How about I give you a clue before you start. You’re not going to find ANY EVIDENCE in the DVD Harmonic Wealth that James Arthur Ray is a charlatan, fraud.

    Next you will be required to logically explain how a person can die of dehydration in twenty-minutes when the person is…

    surrounded by water!

    That should be easy enough for you hot shots, right? Face it. There is only ONE WAY people can die of dehydration while surrounded by water and that is if…

    THEY DON’T DRINK THE WATER!!!

    It should not be James Arthur Ray’s responsibility to know when people are dying of thirst and refuse to drink water.

    THAT IS THEIR RESPONSIBILITY AND YOU KNOW IT!

  • carlon

    Unlike some others, I won't judge James Ray…I'll let a jury do that. But the point of this post is to show that when you teach the whole “law of attraction” stuff, you wonder why he's not using it to get out of jail.

    And, yes, I DO expect people to be responsible for what they believe and what they teach. If you teach this stuff as a way to get what you want in life, I would think you could use it to get out of jail.

    I wasn't the one teaching that stuff. James Ray was.

    As to your water metaphor ( I hate argument by metaphor, by the way, because it's so easy to beat), I'll just say you can die of dehydration surrounded by water if it's SALT water.

    But I'll tell you what. You seem to have great passion for James Ray's Harmonic Wealth DVD. As you know, I do product reviews on this blog. If you send me a copy of the DVD, I promise to watch it with an open mind and post my review on this blog. So, if you believe in James Arthur Ray so much, then shoot me a message through my contact page and I'll tell you where to send the DVD.

    Put your money where your mouth is.

  • LeeKuan

    In forum after forum I encounter the ignorant who blindly claim that James Arthur Ray is a charlatan, fraud, scam artist. Well, I feel it is time for you supposed “experts” to put this matter to rest. I feel it’s time for YOU to review Mr Ray’s DVD Harmonic Wealth and establish, once and for all, that James Arthur Ray is indeed a charlatan scam artist. It should be no problem for you ‘wise guys’ to make it clear point by point just how Mr Ray is a charlatan fraud. It should be no problem for you to do this at all, right? You are the experts, right? You can clearly see the truth the ignorant can’t, right? You are among the Super Wise Superheros of the ignorant. So, let’s all see your evaluation point by point. I’m on the edge of my seat!

    1

    2

    3

    4

    5

    How about I give you a clue before you start. You’re not going to find ANY EVIDENCE in the DVD Harmonic Wealth that James Arthur Ray is a charlatan, fraud.

    Next you will be required to logically explain how a person can die of dehydration in twenty-minutes when the person is…

    surrounded by water!

    That should be easy enough for you hot shots, right? Face it. There is only ONE WAY people can die of dehydration while surrounded by water and that is if…

    THEY DON’T DRINK THE WATER!!!

    It should not be James Arthur Ray’s responsibility to know when people are dying of thirst and refuse to drink water.

    THAT IS THEIR RESPONSIBILITY AND YOU KNOW IT!

  • carlon

    Unlike some others, I won't judge James Ray…I'll let a jury do that. But the point of this post is to show that when you teach the whole “law of attraction” stuff, you wonder why he's not using it to get out of jail.

    And, yes, I DO expect people to be responsible for what they believe and what they teach. If you teach this stuff as a way to get what you want in life, I would think you could use it to get out of jail.

    I wasn't the one teaching that stuff. James Ray was.

    As to your water metaphor ( I hate argument by metaphor, by the way, because it's so easy to beat), I'll just say you can die of dehydration surrounded by water if it's SALT water.

    But I'll tell you what. You seem to have great passion for James Ray's Harmonic Wealth DVD. As you know, I do product reviews on this blog. If you send me a copy of the DVD, I promise to watch it with an open mind and post my review on this blog. So, if you believe in James Arthur Ray so much, then shoot me a message through my contact page and I'll tell you where to send the DVD.

    Put your money where your mouth is.

  • Jacq

    Lee, I’ve participated in sweat lodges before and what newbies don’t know is that you literally aren’t capable of logical thought when you get to a certain point. For that reason, it’s extremely important that you participate in a sweat lodge that is operated by responsible, experienced people who have your physical welfare in mind. In my case, it was and it didn’t sound like it was in the JR case.

    If a bar continued to serve someone who was obviously completely hammered – and, in fact – encouraged them to keep taking shots when they were totally drunk – would you consider it the responsibility of the drunk – or the bar?

  • George

    Hey if YOU felt you were getting to the point where you were not capable of logical thought it is YOUR RESPONSIBILITY to stay out of the sweat lodge, period. No one can know how much YOUR body can stand. That’s YOUR responsibility!

  • George

    Why do you think that most did not suffer bad effects from the sweat lodge? Maybe because they were wise enough not to go back in when they felt they could not handle anymore? If you sign an agreement with the bar to take full responsibility for your drinking it then becomes your responsibility to stop drinking when you have had enough, period!

  • George

    Well, James Arthur Ray teaches that we should all take responsibility for our lives and actions. Would you go back into a sweat lodge if you felt you could not handle it? Why not?

  • Anonymous

    What you just said doesn’t make any sense whatsoever. If someone is not capable of logical thought, then how can they make a rational decision?

    Seriously…think about what you’re saying.

  • Anonymous

    Then don’t you think it’s odd that James Ray takes absolutely no responsibility for the events that happened on his watch?

    To say that the victims of the sweat lodge were at fault and James Ray, who organized and set up the whole thing, is blameless is ridiculous.

    Instead of defending him, I think you should be asking HIM to take some responsibility instead of people who are too dead to do anything about it.

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