How Inspired Living Has Turned Me Into A Douchebag

November 18th, 2010
Some anonymous commenters have worried about my mental health.  But I want to assure my readers that my mental health is fine.  I know this because I had a conversation with myself pretending to be a dream doctor who assured me I was fine.

You see, I’ve been following the 30 days of inspired living trial and I started the part where I basically live without thinking about the consequences (living subjectively).

And man oh man it’s been AWESOME!

I basically do whatever I want.

And the results have been OUTSTANDING!

Living subjectively has helped me to realize that all of you are nothing but figments of my imagination and I was wrong to put so much stock into the feelings of others.

Some people (my imginary mother) have criticized me and call me a narcissist.

Usually that would hurt my feelings but during these 30- days of inspiration, I’ve realized that those “people” don’t even exist.  They are just manifestations of my inner critic.  So, I stopped listening to those “dream characters”.  They totally bum me out.

Clearer Communication

One of the interesting effects has been that my communication has gotten MUCH clearer.

For example, I recently lost my imaginary job when I told my dream boss to kiss my dream a*@.

No consequences, baby.

Pure inspiration!

I don’t need that dream income anyway…because money doesn’t exist!

A Life Independent of Material Bullshit

Speaking of dream money, now the dream bank is calling me because I didn’t pay my dream mortgage  How stupid is that?  I simply told the voice on the other end of the phone (which I’m sure is a non-existent entity outside my own mind) that I appreciated the lesson that the dream character in my mind was trying to teach me.  And I let it go at that.  Well, it’s called hanging up on someone usually, but since the other entity didn’t actually exist, I don’t think it was rude of me.

That same dream bank repossessed my dream car.  But I chalk that up to my mind telling me it’s time to exercise.

Subjective Responsibility

Then there’s the dream agents from Child Protective Services that came to talk to me about neglecting my dream child because I didn’t send my dream child to his imaginary school.  As if school or children actually exist!  The NERVE of my mind!

But as the dream agents talked to me, I realized that they must be manifestations of my mind encouraging me to be more responsible.  So, I had nothing to fear from their threats of taking away my dream child.

I tell you what: I’m lovig this subjective living.  I’ve never been happier.  Because I do what I want to make me happy whenever I want, wherever I want–the dream police called it “indecent exposure” but I don’t even know what that means.

I would encourage all of you to try, but I am subjectively sad to report that you don’t exist.

You are all characters in my dream world…and frankly, you bother me.

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