Why You Should Listen to “Negative Thinkers”

April 13th, 2010

I’ve already written why you should ignore everybody. But there are people you SHOULD listen to.  Who is it?

Well, I can tell you one rule that you should follow religiously and that is:

Never trust someone who is selling you something!

And yes, that goes for self-help gurus, diet supplement suppliers, or whatever. If someone is telling you that your negative thinking is causing you to destroy your life and then offers to sell you an awesome tape series to help you…well…he isn’t exactly an objective broker of advice is he?

But it happens all the time.

So, who can you trust?  There are many qualities you can find in people to trust, but I have found one quality over and over again in the people who have brought the most to my life.

And that quality was not being afraid to tell you NO

The worst situation you can ever be in is to be surrounded by a bunch of yes-people. It turns you into a one-dimensional thinker. You start hanging out with “like-minded people” who  are in fact people who are too vested in your same way of thinking to tell you that you are messing up.

Case in point. One of the ways a BS guru gets you is to put you into an “us-vs.-them” mindset (secrets they don’t want you to know). Many organizations use a variation of this tactic to get people to pony up some money. And then they will deride people who tell you that you are going down the wrong path as “negative thinkers”.

Hey, don’t listen to that guy…he’s just jealous of how successful you’re going to be…he’s a negative thinker and a dream stealer.

Sorry, but whenever I her someone use the “negative thinker” argument, I run for the hills. The reason is that it is important to be around people who will give you HONEST criticism.

I have friends that totally disagree with the opinions I express in this blog.  And guess what? Their objections have actually produced some of my better posts.  I’m not one of those bloggers who starts deleting comments because someone disagrees with me.  I say bring it on.  If I can’t back up my beliefs with anything more than an inspirational story and the old “It’s true because (insert guru name here) says so” then I have no business blogging on this topic.

I’m not saying to put yourself in a room with a bunch of “downers” who won’t like anything you say. And I’m also not suggesting you gather people around you who ONLY tell you no. You don’t need them. But when someone gives you some honest criticism backed by facts and reason, you are much better off listening to those people than those who just “think positively” while stuck in a rut year after year after year.

I’m a very positive person. And there have been times when someone told me no and I didn’t listen. Sometimes I was right. Sometimes I was wrong. But I need people who are willing to give me their honest opinion and give me their reasons for it.

And with people around you who support you and give you honest criticism, your chances for moving in the right direction go up dramatically.

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