Raising kids is tough. I know. And even if you don’t have kids, you can go into any family restaurant and listen to the shrieks of children and just imagine how hard it must be for those parents.
I pulled out all my hair trying to raise my kid.
I was frustrated. My kid wouldn’t listen to me. I thought my kid’s future was ruined and it was all my fault!
I felt like a failure.
But that was before I discovered “The Secret”.
When I read the first page, raising my kids became a SNAP. I used the Power of my Positive Thoughts to transform my little monster into an angel.
And now I want to share that “Secret” with you. You’ve probably read a ton of Law of Attraction books. But this is the only one that can teach you how to use the Law of Attraction to raise your kids.
Throw Dr. Spock away.
Those “What to Expect” books?
Full of negative thoughts with all that talk of kids getting sick, vaccines, and all that nonsense.
Seriously. Throw those books away. They filled me full of negative thoughts about how my kids might get sick and not develop properly.
Who needs that kind of negativity?
Well, now you don’t need to. Read my book, “The Secret” to Raising Kids: How to Use the Law of Attraction to Make Your Kids into such Heroic Figures That Your Neighbors Will Tremble as You Walk Down The Street Because You are Such a Kickass Parent.”
Stop feeling guilty. I’ve got ALL the answers for you.
In this book, you will get the solution to all the problems parents face. Here’s a taste:
Potty training: with the power of positive thinking, your kid’s poo is going down the loo. Just ignore those stinky diapers and ask the universe to will your kid to the toilet. But you’ve got to REALLY believe it. If you start letting the stench get to you, you’ll get all negative. Just sit back. Watch a 48-hour NCIS marathon as the universe takes care of dirty diapers forever.
College: Ask the universe to send your kid to Harvard. Bad grades? No problem. The Universe will give your kids the edge they need. They don’t need to do homework. No need to even go to school. Harvard will manifest itself somehow.
Peer Pressure: Are the spawn of “negative thinkers” trying to fill your kid with negative thoughts? Just ask the Universe to “take care of” those kids. There can’t be any “peer pressure” if there are no peers to speak of, if you catch my drift.
Smoking, alcohol, drugs and other bad stuff: Just believe that the universe will make those things disappear by the time your kids gets old enough. If your kid is old enough, ask the universe to make them temporarily invisible whenever your kid gets around it. No need to talk about such negative things. If you talk about drugs, drugs will find a way to manifest itself to your kid.
Sex: Every parent dreads talking about this. But now, you don’t have to. Ask the universe to talk to your kids FOR you. The Universe can explain it better anyway. Heck, the universe invented this stuff—not you. It’s not called the “Law of Attraction” for nothing! Why should YOU be responsible for what the universe does? That is, unless you had some negative thoughts—in that case the universe has no responsibility to help you. But the fact is: Just ask and believe that the universe will impart this knowledge without you.
These are just the tip of the iceberg. You’ve just entered the Age of Positive Parenting. And I am your humble guru. All you have to do is be positive. Let the universe take care of all the bad stuff that’ll happen to your kids.
Get “The Secret” to Raising Kids: How to Use the Law of Attraction to Make Your Kids into such Heroic Figures That Your Neighbors Will Tremble as You Walk Down The Street Because You are Such a Kickass Parent.”TODAY.*
*the link is to donate so that I won’t actually write a book like this. Consider all the people you’d help by not allowing such crap into the bookstores. Think about it.