A fan of DSP sent me a video the other day. It was an interview with Eckhart Tolle. I thought it was priceless. He was asked a simple question and then just rattled off this answer that said almost nothing. The funniest thing about it was he said the words “manifest” and “manifestation” like a million times, but he never answered the question. And then in a hilarious ending, Oprah had to “translate” just what the hell he was talking about.
In other words, it was totally frickin’ awesome!
After seeing this, I knew that I too had to interview this guy. So, I got the whole DSP crew together and we sat down with Tolle and a special guest.
May I present to you a DSP exclusive: an interview with Eckhart Tolle!
DSP: It’s great to have you here. Let me just say. I’ve never read your books or anything. So, I didn’t know what you looked like. I mean you kind of look like a gnome.
Tolle: The reason for this is that in that act of meeting you, there were no thoughts about who you are or who I am. There was the openness of consciousness recognizing itself in another human being.*
DSP: Are you saying “it takes one to know one”?
Tolle: Perhaps.
DSP: Well…How did you come to be so beloved by Oprah?
Tolle: Oprah and I share a similar consciousness of spirit that is manifested in what some may call God or simply Spirit but others call it the Godhead manifestation of karmic virtue.
DSP: So…are you two an item?
Tolle: Items are mere objects of ego-consciousness. I teach that we must go beyond pure ego-consciousness and move to a new manifestation of energy karma force.
DSP: OK. So, you’re saying there’s nothing physical between you and Oprah?
Tolle: What you call physical, others call the body and this is but a manifestation of the intentions we manifest in spirit. And this mental action of pure consciousness leads us to take action in the physical world but does not taint the spiritual actions that we manifest in our own spirit-consciousness in the godhead.
DSP: Uh..Oprah..do you know what the hell he’s talking about?
Oprah: He means we’re just friends.
DSP: Phew. Thanks, Oprah. So, Eckhart, tell me how is life treating you now?
Tolle: The most powerful state for a human to be in is the state of embracing completely the reality of what is—Now. It is to say “Yes” to life, which is now and always now. There is a vast power in that “Yes,” that state of inner non-resistance to what is. *
DSP: So, going well then?
Tolle: I feel now that I need to return to the pure stillness periodically. And then, when the teaching happens, just allow it to arise out of the stillness. So the teaching and stillness are very closely connected. The teaching arises out of the stillness. But when I’m alone, there’s only the stillness, and that is my favorite place. *
DSP: Oprah, do you have any idea what he’s talking about?
Oprah: Well, if I understand it correctly, he is saying that his consciousness, or some say soul or atman, is trying to return to stillness, which some people might call sleep consciousness and this consciousness leads to the greater consciousness that some call the Holy Spirit, God, Buddha, Krishna, or whatever major religious figure we want to co-opt.
DSP: In other words…?
Oprah: I have no clue.
DSP: Eckhart, you actually get paid for this?
Tolle: Dude, I’m loaded out the balls! How ’bout them apples, blog boy!
DSP: Wow…now that’s inspirational.
Footnotes:
Disclaimer: This is a parody. I didn’t actually interview Eckhart Tolle. So, I don’t want all the Tollites getting up in arms. And, no, Oprah wasn’t here either.
All lines marked with an ‘*’ are actual quotes by Eckhart Tolle in other interviews (completely taken out of context by me).
Here is that hilarious interview that spawned this “interview.”
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