The DSP ideal of productivity

First of all, let me be clear: I think productivity is overrated.  How do you know you’re being productive?  Hell if I know..but you can buy a whole lot of books that’ll tell you how to be more productive without actually telling you what it means to be “productive”.

But why do you need those books when you have me to help you.  I’ve got 5 surefire ways to make you productive:

1. Throw away your cell phone or turn it off 23 hours a day

OK.  Full disclosure here.  I don’t have an iPhone.  I want one though.  But it’s not because I need it or anything.  It’s just that all cool people have one and I want to be cool.

But what the hell do I need it for?

I really don’t like people calling me all the damn time to talk about a whole lotta nothing.

True story: People regularly get mad at me for turning off my cell phone when I’m working out.

They are mad at ME for wanting to complete an activity without interruption.

Now, I scanned a few books on productivity and that whole “complete the task without interruption” is kind of an important thing.

I always ask them if their call is an emergency.  They always say no.  But they still get annoyed.

One of those people’s jobs: productivity coach.  Go figure.

It’s like my buddy Herb used to say, “Who wants to be called with a, “hey did you pick up the kids?” call when you’re at a bar trying to get your drink on.”

And smart phones? Well, you can do all sorts of mindless stuff on it.  Hey, we all love Plants vs. Zombies, but productive it does not a person make.

And seriously, does anyone really need to check e-mail, and Facebook constantly..especially when I’m trying to have a conversation with you?

Speaking of Facebook….

2. Commit Web 2.0 suicide

Hey, your Facebook update says you saw a flower on the side of the road (pic included!). And some guy tweeted that he’s bored.  Who cares?

Do you really need to know what your buddies are doing every minute of every day?  How much time do you spend on Twitter, Facebook, and all that stuff that’s supposed to bring us closer together as a community but really gives us an excuse not to interact with real people?

Being productive entails sacrifice. Less time on social meda..more time socializing.

Of course, if you want to be super-duper productive, you could always commit web 2.0 suicide.

Here’s a link to a place where you can do just that:

http://suicidemachine.org/

Disclaimer: DSP does not endorse suicide in any shape or form.  Besides, we don’t care that much about being productive, so we’re still on Facebook…join our page.

3. Stop Reading productivity blogs

Mindhacking, lifehacking, zenhacking, brainhacking, badhabits, dullhabits, zenhackingbrainhabits…don’t you have work to do instead of reading about how to do work more efficiently?  Go on.  Stop reading this blog.  Get outta here.  Get to work.

4. Stop buying new productivity products

Outlook add-ons.  Website tools.  Mindmapping software for your cellphone, desktop, laptop, iPod, and iPad. 1,000 contact managers. Software screwdrivers.  Seriously.  Do we really NEED all this stuff to make us more productive?  It’s hard to be productive when you’re changing your “productivity” products every week.

You only need one: the DSP Productivity Toolkit in a Box.  It only costs $27.99  and comes with 2 pencils and a notepad.  Write a to-do list in said notepad with said pencils and then go do those things.

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When most people associate Seve Jobs with self-help, they usually think of the commencement speech her gave at Sanford.  You remember the one, “stay hungry; stay foolish.”

But Steve has an even more important lesson to teach you: how to blow someone off.

What?

Blow someone off?

Why would I need to know how to do that?

The answer is: there are times when you HAVE TO blow someone off.

Like when someone keeps asking you for a favor.  Mr. Favor constantly bothers you to do something,  Or Mr. I’m Broke who’s always asking you to do some work for free.  Anyone employed as a mechanic knows what I’m talking about.  All those times your Cousin Luke comes by and complains of “knocking” in his car and he wants you to have a look at it–for free.

You know the drill.

There are different ways to do this.  Many books out there will give you firm but polite ways to do tell someone to leave you alone.  But those books weren’t written by Steve “F’ing” Jobs.

In a recent article, there was an email exchange between a college student and Jobs.  The student was complaining that the Apple Media department wouldn’t give her a quote for her class paper.  Steve replied that it is not his company’s goal to get the student a good grade.

But the student was not deterred.  She kept emailing him about it.  Finally, Jobs replied with:

“Please leave us alone.”

I love that.  It’s straight to the point and leaves no doubt that he doesn’t want to be bothered again.

Most people are a little wishy washy when trying to blow someone off or make excuses like I’m too busy now..maybe later.  It’s the “maybe later” part that kills you every time, because Mr. Favor WILL come a-knockin’ later.

Don’t do it  You tell him: Please leave me alone.

Can you help me with this project?

Sorry, I can’t,

Oh, come on.  You have time.

Please leave me alone.

Think he’s coming back? Hell, no.

That’s all you’ve gotta do.  So, next time someone keeps bugging you, blow them off the Jobs way and tell them–Please leave me the hell alone!

You can read the whole e-mail exchange here:

The entire thread between Chelsea Kate Isaacs and Steve Jobs
(Read from the bottom up)

From: Steve Jobs
To: XXXX@my.liu.edu
Date: Thu, 16 Sep 2010 18:27:36 -0700
Subject: Re: Mr. Jobs – Student Journalist Concerned about Apple’sMediaRelations Dept.

Please leave us alone.

Sent from my iPhone

On Sep 16, 2010, at 5:32 PM, XXXX@my.liu.edu wrote:

> You’re absolutely right, and I do meet your criteria for being a customer who deserves a response:
>
> 1. I AM one of your 300 million users.
> 2. I DO have a problem; I need answers that only Apple Media Relations can answer.
>
> Now, can they kindly respond to my request (my polite and friendly voice can be heard in the first 5 or 10 messages in their inbox). Please, I am on deadline.
>
> I appreciate your help.
>
>
> Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile
>
> ——-Original Message——-
> From: Steve Jobs
> Date: Thu, 16 Sep 2010 17:10:12
> To: XXXX@my.liu.edu
> Subject: Re: Mr. Jobs – Student Journalist Concerned about Apple’s
> MediaRelations Dept.
>
> Nope. We have over 300 million users and we can’t respond to their requests unless they involve a problem of some kind. Sorry.
>
> Sent from my iPhone
>
> On Sep 16, 2010, at 4:37 PM, XXXX@my.liu.edu wrote:
>
>> Thank you for your reply. I never said that your goal should be to “help me get a good grade.” Rather, I politely asked why your media relations team does not respond to emails, which consequently, decreases my chances of getting a good grade. But, forget about my individual situation; what about common courtesy, in general —- if you get a message from a client or customer, as an employee, isn’t it your job to return the call? That’s what I always thought. But I guess that’s not one of your goals. Yes, you do have a creative approach, indeed.
>> Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile
>>
>> ——-Original Message——-
>> From: Steve Jobs
>> Date: Thu, 16 Sep 2010 16:19:13
>> To: XXXX@my.liu.edu
>> Subject: Re: Mr. Jobs – Student Journalist Concerned about Apple’s Media
>> Relations Dept.
>>
>> Our goals do not include helping you get a good grade. Sorry.
>>
>> Sent from my iPhone
>>
>> On Sep 16, 2010, at 3:22 PM, XXXX@my.liu.edu wrote:
>>
>>> Dear Mr. Jobs,
>>>
>>> As a college student, I can honestly say that Apple has treated me very well; my iPod is basically the lifeline that gets me through the day, and thanks to Apple’s Final Cut Pro, I aced last semester’s video editing project. I was planning to buy a new Apple computer to add to my list of Apple favorites.
>>>
>>> Because I have had such good experiences as a college student using Apple products, I was incredibly surprised to find Apple’s Media Relations Department to be absolutely unresponsive to my questions, which (as I had repeatedly told them in voicemail after voicemail) are vital to my academic grade as a student journalist.
>>>
>>> For my journalism course, I am writing an article about the implementation of an iPad program at my school, the CW Post Campus of Long Island University.
>>>
>>> The completion of this article
>>> is crucial to my grade in the class, and it may potentially get published in our university’s newspaper. I had 3 quick questions regarding iPads, and wanted to obtain answers from the most credible source: Apple’s Media Relations Department.
>>>
>>> I have called countless times throughout the week, leaving short, but detailed, messages which included my contact information and the date of my deadline. Today, I left my 6th message, which stressed the increasingly more urgent nature of the situation. It is now the end of the business day, and I have not received a call back. My deadline is tomorrow.
>>>
>>> Mr. Jobs, I humbly ask why Apple is so wonderfully attentive to the needs of students, whether it be with the latest, greatest invention or the company’s helpful customer service line, and yet, ironically, the Media Relations Department fails to answer any of my questions which are, as I have repeatedly told them, essential to my academic performance.
>>>
>>> For colleges nationwide, Apple is at the forefront of improving the way we function in the academic environment, increasing the efficiency of conducting academic research, as well as sharing and communicating with our college communities.
>>>
>>> With such an emphasis on advancing our education system, why, then, has Apple’s Media Relations team ignored my needs as a student journalist who is just trying to get a good grade?
>>>
>>> In addition to the hypocrisy of ignoring student needs when they represent a company that does so much for our schools, the Media Relations reps are apparently, also failing to responsibly handle the inquiries of professional journalists on deadlines. Unfortunately, for a journalist in the professional world, lacking the answers they need on deadline day won’t just cost them a grade; it could cost them their job.
>>>
>>> Thank you very much for your time and consideration.
>>>
>>> Sincerely,
>>>
>>> Chelsea Kate Isaacs
>>> Senior
>>> CW Post – Long Island University
>>>
>>> Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile

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A long-time blog reader sent me a personal message that I thought I’d share with you.  He wrote:

I used to read your carlonhaas.com blog.  You used to blog once a week or so, then it’s almost like you disappeared.  But here you are at a new blog and I get e-mail updates from you every day.

I write a blog, so I was wondering how you went from blogging once a month to once a day?  What’s the secret?

Rick

Rick’s letter surprised me.  He was kind actually.  I blogged maybe once every two months.  But in fact some of the readers of the old blog have given me similar comments.  Some even unsubscribed from e-mail blog updates thinking I had turned into a spammer.  I guess that’s what happens when you go form one blog post every 2 months to 5 times a week.

And, honestly, when I started Don’t Step in the Poop, I planned on blogging once a week.

But now, I’m at 5-6 times a week with no intention of slowing down in the near future (heck, I have 5 posts already queued for next week!).  My secret?  Although I don’t believe in “the secret”, this is how I went from blogging once a month to every day.

Blog Angry

There is no better way to blog than to blog angry.  I’m serious. I used to avoid writing things that made me angry.  I thought I’d be perceived as too “negative”, especially for a personal development blog. I looked at other personal development blogs and saw how upbeat and “you can do it” they were.  I felt I needed to imitate them.

As much as the readers liked that blog, I felt there was no fire and no passion in that writing.

I started Don’t Step in the Poop after I had finally had enough.  I had been reading all these BS personal development books and was getting angrier and angrier.  Many were so full of pump-up material and so little on substance; I felt I had to do something.

I was a philosophy student trained in critical thinking.  I known how to use your critical thinking skills to discern truth from fiction, right from wrong.  But all these books I read focus on making you feel good. And sure you might feel good albeit temporarily.  These ideas I found not only disturbing but dangerous.  Heck, some people have been killed doing this stuff.

So, I started blogging angry.  And I went from one post every two months or so to 5-6 posts a week.  And I have no intention of taking my foot off the gas pedal.

Blogging angry is not the same as ranting

But by angry, I don’t mean ranting.  Ranting is selfish and not helpful.  People reading my blog have probably read my reviews.  Yes, I hated Who Moved My Cheese.  Yes, I hated Awaken the Giant Within.

But I’m not just sitting around ranting about how much I hate them.  You get the good, the bad, and the verdict.  Not just me telling you how much I hate something.

Angry Blogging Doesn’t Have to Sound Angry

You see, just because something makes you angry doesn’t mean a blog post has to sound angry.

It just has anger at its heart.

Anger can lead you to different directions.  For example, I was reading a book on creativity and was so disappointed with it, I thought to myself, “I know some children’s books that teach me more about creativity than that piece of trash.”  So, what did I do?  I reviewed a children’s book (that’ll appear as a guest post at theworldsstrongestlibrarian blog in mid-February–thanks, Josh.)

Anger and passion are two sides of the same coin.  If I said blog with passion, maybe some people would like it more than me saying “blog angry”.  But anger is SO much easier to find.  And it really is easy to control.

Anger is Like a Raging River that Needs a Bank

Anger, left unchecked, becomes a rant or worse.  So, it needs something to hold it.  In my case, I use logic and reason.  I use the human rational mind we were all born with.  A calmed mind is a beautiful thing because it can turn much of what is negative into something positive.

How do I use reason to turn anger into passion, frustration into humor, or madness into wit?

Actually, it’s kinda easy.  I call it: the editing process.

Blogging angry means you write fast.

Seriously!  If you’ve ever blogged angry, you know how fast it goes.  So, I use this simple process:

1. Write the post and queue it up
2. Wait one day
3. Re-read it
4. Make adjustments
5. Publish

If you read my review of “Who Moved my Cheese?” and thought it was a rant, let me tell you, I spent two days toning it down.  I really didn’t like that book.  I use this process as a way to balance.

So, you wanna become a more prolific blogger?  Blog angry…

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One of the worst jobs I ever had was translating a business proposal from Korean into English.  Why? Because it was so laden with business jargon that I had no idea what the document was saying.  And the words they were using were DIRECTLY borrowed from English.  And when I asked the writer what he was talking about, he honestly didn’t seem to know.

This experience made me realize that many people use business clichés and jargon to simply mask the fact that they don’t know what they’re talking about.  And it’s a good way to shift blame on the listener (hey, it’s not my fault he can’t comprehend the paradigm shift I am proposing).

Well, as someone who deals with international businesspeople, I know how futile these clichés are.  And what’s worse is that some of these are taken as gospel and can led to some VERY bad decisions.

So, I offer you what I think are the worst offenders: the 5 worst business clichés:

1. Think outside the box

The fact that this became a cliché should tell you how bad it is.  What I hate most about this cliché is rarely does anyone say it to themselves. No.  They say it to others.

A friend of mine was once trying to show their boss how they needed to change their course of action because they were losing a lot of money.  The boss says, you need to think outside the box.

Well, two months later, the boss was probably living in a box as the business went bankrupt.

Possible replacement: Just come up with SOMETHING I haven’t heard already

2. Win/win

There is no such thing.  All negotiations are zero sum games.  I think most businesspeople say this so that they don’t feel bad about getting the better deal.  You never hear people who got the worse end of the deal talking about win/win.

The guy with the most leverage dictates the terms.

The key is always to be honest with yourself.  Talking about win/win is not only dishonest, it defies reality.

Possible replacement: Let’s strive for win/don’t completely rip-off the other guy

3. Failure is not an option

I LOVE this one.  Actually, failure is an option.  It’s always an option.  Sometimes failure is the best option!  Cut your losses.  Get out while you’re ahead.

This is a phrase that I think is used for motivating and pumping people up.  Life is a series of successes and failures.  Getting all pumped up while you’re getting creamed only makes you crash harder.

Possible replacement: Failure is an option as long as you know why you failed.

4. Grow or die

It’s perfectly acceptable to be small.  There are many successful one-person operations all over the place.  No need to grow.  Growing can sometimes lead to death.

I am only happy that “small is the new big” isn’t being thrown around too.  Or is it?

Possible replacement: Grow only when it’s in your interest to grow

5. Paradigm shift

When I was in college, we learned this word.  It refers to BIG things. Strictly defined it changes the basic underlying assumptions we once had.  For example, people once believed that life could come from dead things (abiogenesis) till Pasteur finally proved that life only comes from life.  It fundamentally changed the approach to biology.

Here are some other examples of REAL paradigm shifts:

• The shift from Ptolemic cosmology to Copernican. (the Earth revolves around the sun, you know?)
• The transition from Newtonian physics to Einstein’s relativity
• The development of Quantum mechanics
• The Theory of evolution by natural selection

So, you think a software program even comes close to these?

Seriously.  This word is reserved for big moments and only history can judge whether it was a paradigm shift.  Using this in business-speak renders the term meaningless.

Possible replacement: NOTHING!  Stop using it!

Well, those are mine.  Feel free to add some in the comment section.

Honorable mention

Anything 2.0, as in Don’t Step in the Poop 2.0.

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Are you reading this blog when you should be working?  Well…I hope not.  A surefire way to get fired is to surf the internet when you should be working.   But getting fired isn’t the worst thing that can happen to you.

The worst is that you lose precious time from your life.

And time is the one thing you can never get back.

But forget time management. I’ve never believed in the concept (you can’t manage time; only yourself).  Rather than manage time, we can eliminate distraction.   And for all the conveniences modern society has given us, one thing we have more of is distraction. And the biggest distraction for many people is the computer…more specifically—the internet.

There is one solution I stumbled upon that will not only take care of the distractions of e-mail, instant messengers, and those pesky news sites but also every internet-related distraction you can think of.

And it’s so simple, you can take care of it in 5 seconds or less.

And that solution is…

…unplug yourself from the internet.

I know it’s sacrilege to say this, but when you are in the middle of a project or need to take some time to write (like I do) just reach your hand behind your computer and unplug your internet cable.

Have a wireless connection?

Go to your system tray, right-cick on the internet connection icon, and disable the connection.

I found that my actually having to go behind my computer and plug the cable back in, it forced me to ask myself, “Do I really need to get on the internet?” Because doing so meant I had to get up, reach my hand around, grope for the cable, and take time to find the right connection port. It may take 5 seconds or less to unplug the connection, but it always seemed to take longer to plug it back in.

9 times out of 10, it wasn’t worth it…no matter how much I wanted to check box scores.

You may be thinking a couple of things:

#1 ”Duh! Why blog about something so blatantly obvious.“ Well…sometimes the simplest solutions are the most obvious and the most frequently overlooked. Like the person who calls tech support about his computer not working only to discover that he had not turned on the power.

#2 ”But I need the internet on to research. It’s impossible for me to turn it off.” In that case, disable it on your system tray. And ONLY enable it when you absolutely have to be online and then quickly disable it again. It don’t like this solution as much as unplugging it because you can get online much too easily. But for some of you who absolutely have to use the internet, it can boost your productivity by leaps and bounds if you disciplined enough.

Well, there you have it.  A 5-second solution to a big time-wasting activity.   Think about it, but don’t let it stop you from getting your daily dose of “Don’t Step in the Poop”.Similar Posts:

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One day a man was talking to his co-worker at his office.  They talked about many things, but inevitably the subject of work came up.  You see, each man worked in different departments and had different bosses, and they liked to talk about the latest goings-in.

One man said to the other, “My boss is a notorious workaholic.”

He meant it as a compliment.

The problem?

The boss overheard him. It made him angry.  And rightfully so.

Notorious is NOT a synonym for being well-known.  Notorious means to be well-known for something evil.

For example, the Mafia is a notorious organization.

Or Mr. X in my office is a notorious butt-kisser.

So, keep this in mind.  You may use notorious to mean well-known, but notorious has a negative connotation.  You may be fine if no one knows, but if a vocabulary-power-driven individual knows the true meaning, he or she might not be so flattered.

Hence, the image of the late Biggie Smalls—the Notorious BIG.  He knew what it meant.  It fed into his gansta persona.  He knew something about something.  RIP, Biggie.Similar Posts:

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One way we get ourselves into deep poop is to say the wrong thing to the wrong person.  But what if it’s not intentional?

I’m a big believer in the power of words.  As a writer, I have told anyone who would listen that writing clearly affects the way people think about you.  The same goes for speaking.

The right words at the right time make all the difference.

So, on a practical note, I will form time to time introduce words that I think will increase your chances of getting ahead.

Today, I wanted to go into the difference between literally and figuratively.

Literally means something is physically true. (He literally ate 5 hamburgers=He ate five hamburgers).

Figuratively means symbolically or metaphorically true. (Her hair figuratively turned white with fear.)

These words are close to my heart because in this blog I most certainly talk about poop figuratively and not literally.

I’ve seen many people use “literally” as a way to intensify what they’re saying.  Others may not notice.

But use them incorrectly at the wrong time, and you end up like this guy in the movie 500 Days of Summer.

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