8 Celebrity Self-help Books We Won’t Be Reading

November 1st, 2010
Recently, I read that Janet Jackson is coming out with a new self-help book.
Wow.  She’ll tell us how she lost all that weight (surgery, probably…I mean, special diet plan). I’m so pumped.  And you know I’ll be pre-ordering it..NOT.

Janet Jackson?  Self-help?  Seriously?

I think, if anything, Janet needs to read one or two (she probably did read some…the bad ones).

But that got me thinking…what about all those celebrities who’ve written self-help books.  What are they like?  Why should anyone read them?

DSP takes a closer look at the celebrity self-help books we won’t be reading:


1. Mike Sorrentino
Here’s The Situation: A Guide to Ripped Abs, Grooming, and How to Keep Up With Your GTL

I have no idea who this guy is, but it looks like he’s writing a book.  I won’t buy it. He looks like a douche.


2. Tyra Banks
Tyra’s Beauty Inside and Out.

A supermodel wants to tell me about being beautiful?


3. Jennifer Love Hewitt
The Day I Shot Cupid: Hello, My Name Is Jennifer Love Hewitt and I’m a Love-aholic

I love Jennifer Love Hewitt.  I don’t know why.  It’s just one of those things.  Maybe it’s the way the camera constantly focuses on her boobs on Ghost Whisperer (watch an episode; you’ll know what I mean). But I just can’t see myself taking relationship advice from her.


4. Suzanne Somers
Knockout: Interviews With Doctors Who are Curing Cancer and How to Prevent Getting It in the First Place

One review from Amazon really summed this book up for me:

“My mother read this book, and believed in it. Right up until she died of cancer. “

I would poke more fun at Suzanne Somers if her advice wasn’t so dangerous.
She should have stuck with the Thighmaster or whatever it is she used to peddle.
Then again, should anyone really be taking health advice from Chrissy from Three’s Company?

5. Whoopi Goldberg
Whoopi’s Big Book of Manners

Does this include walking away from people who say things you don’t like?


6. Shirley Maclaine
Sage-ing While Age-ing

Not sure if Shirley Maclaine wrote this book or if her alien friends whispered it to her.


7. Jessica Simpson
I Do: Achieving Your Dream Wedding

I guess she’ll get a do-over on that one.

8. Lynne Spears (mother of Brittany)
Through the Storm

Seriously,  Are you going to take parenting advice from Lynn Spears?
Looks like another attempt of a celebrity parent to make money off their kid. Sad.

As a bonus: here is one celebrity self-help book I might read:

Coem on. It’s 50 Cent!  You know it’s gonna be AWESOME!!!!

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