5 Self-Help Tips from Charlie Sheen

March 31st, 2011

The New "Winning" Self Help Guru

Charlie Sheen was everywhere.  Now, he’s nowhere.  Or so it would seem.   The truth is that DSP has had Charlie here at the DSP-HQ to teach the staff his “secrets”.  We’ve been so overwhelmed by his Sheen-ness that we haven’t even been able to post to this blog.  But DSP had a wake-up call when “they” attacked us and tried to silence us–causing DSP to go down.  But we’re back and we refuse to back down.

So, to teach “them” a lesson we are posting some of the Teachings of Sheen that were taught to us by the Sheen himself, with special muscial guest Matthew McConaughey on bongos.

Sheenism #1 Can’t is the cancer of happen!

By saying “can’t” you make things NOT happen.  Can’t is for the trolls.  It’s not for Vatican assassin warlocks like you.

Sheenism #2 Close your eyes and make it happen with the power of your mind

Like Charlie got off drugs with the power of his mind and unlearned 22 years of AA fiction, you too can make IT HAPPEN with the power of your mind. You’ve got the power within–use it!

Sheenism #3 Your life is an education for your children.

Like when Charlie’s kids grow up and look back at his life they will say, “And then, like, this, and then that’s the guy, and that’s our dad and we can get all the answers and the truth? Wow, winning!” That just says it all.

Sheenism #4 You are special, so the rules for most people don’t apply.

You see, people wil try to put you in a box.  They will try to define you.  They will make rules that really don’t apply to you and then you end up feeling un-empowered because the rules are slanted against you.  Do not believe that if you do something then you have to follow a certain path because it was written for normal people. People who aren’t special. People who don’t have tiger blood and Adonis DNA.

Sheenism #5 Don’t pretend to be something you are not.

Always you are trying to make yourself into something you’re not.  It’s time you stop pretending to be something you are not.  Don’t lower yourself just to make others feel better.  Like us, you’re tired of pretending you’re not a total bitchin’ rock star from Mars.  Time to smack reality in the face and live it!

 

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