The #1 Way to Get What You Want

February 24th, 2010

I remember the time I didn’t get a promotion that I so richly deserved. Here I was working over two years at this fine retail establishment during my college years.  Thought myself a model employee.  Always on time.  Knew the job inside and out (wasn’t much to know, but I digress.)

So when a promotion comes up, this pipsqueak manager of all of two months goes ahead and gives the promotion to someone who worked there less than one year!

Seeing my justifiable outrage, pipsqueak manager goes ahead and tries to give me some stupid motivational pep-talk or something.

So, he tells that the reason I gave her the job is that she asked for the job.  And how did she ask I say.

She came in early the last two months and learned all the things she’d have to do in this position.  So, she was ready from day 1.  Then, he starts saying how he didn’t really consider me since I seemed  happy where I was.

What a jerk!  He gives the promotion I so richly deserved to someone else and then tries to teach me life lessons?  Give me a break!

Well…actually, pipsqueak manager was dead right and I was an idiot.

You Don’t Deserve Anything

It took me a loooonnnggggg time to learn this lesson.  I thought the longer you work somewhere, people will see how good you are and give you your just rewards.

Nope.

Seniority does not automatically grant you any favors.  And I think in an ideal world, seniority wouldn’t even be an issue.  Your results would be all that matters.

Nevertheless, some people think they “deserve” something and get mad because no one figured out just how wonderful they are, how hard they worked, or how dedicated they are.

That’s what I thought.  And I was a moron.

Get in Touch with Your Inner Two Year Old

It sounds like simple advice, but I can count all the times I never asked for what I wanted.  Kids know how to ask for things.  They ask for things all the time.

And guess what?  They get what they want.

Actions Speak Louder Than Silence

But the bigger lesson I learned from that manager asking through action first was the most powerful way.   Asking is pretty easy.  Just open your mouth.

But if you go out of your way to show someone what you want, it’ll have a much greater impact when you finally do get around to opening your mouth.

They say actions speak louder than words.  But that’s not right.  Your words and actions have to match.  Act and ask. Act and ask.

Don’t Ask the Universe; Ask a PERSON

Seriously.  I’ve read a ton of personal development books/blogs/writings that tell you to ask the universe or the inner light or something   Or they want you to align your vibrations to manifest your intentions.

Huh?

Here’s some simple advice:

You want more money—ASK YOUR BOSS.

You want to start a business but have no money? ASK FOR A LOAN! GO TO A BANK.  ASK A RELATIVE WITH MONEY.  ASK 10 RELATIVES WITH MONEY.

See how easy it can be?

Rather than sitting by and waiting for the universe to be manifesting your will, you can go out there and just ask someone who is in a position to grant you those desires.

You Look Stupid for Not Asking

The reason I think all that ask-the-universe stuff is so popular is because people are afraid of asking real people because they don’t want to look stupid.  Hey, I sympathize.  I hate asking people for things too.

What if the boss laughs at my request for more money?  What if they think I’m a beggar?

Look: your imagined fears are always worse than what actually happens.

Most of the time people go out of their way to help you.  That’s the truth.  Don’t let your ego get in the way.

I remember waiting months to ask someone for help once and the reaction I got was, “well, gee, why didn’t you ask me earlier. I’m happy to help.”

And guess what?  I felt like a total idiot for waiting so long.

Don’t let that happen to you.  Get out there and start asking for what you want and start showing people what you want.

Carlon’s Poop-free Advice on Getting What You Want:

  • If you want something, you have to ask for it
  • Take action that shows what you want.
  • Ask a person who is in a position to help you.
  • Don’t ‘let your ego get in the way. If you’re afraid of looking stupid think of it like this: you’re stupid if you don’t ask.
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